I love you more than you'll ever know

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Well I haven't been here for a long time, have I? I just thought maybe I'd come by and mess around a lil bit. Ah well. I miss Devi and Vongster loads. And I miss Kat and Ann and Melissa and Bev and Aileen and Shoo and Jasmine and Charissa and Charlene and Hoting and Raina. :( This isnt really good.

Anyhow I hope my brother's gonna be dne with his assignments today. He's been a rather huge bore lately. Hahaha.

I am itching to go shopping. :( I wi.sh summer was here. I wish it was December. I wish we could graduate from foundation now now now. I wish I could tell you I'm having the time of my life. But I'm not.

Sadly.

I wonder who still reads this?

(:

Haven't been here for months. Just an update: since my last post here, Olvels have been long over, prom has been long over, graduation has been long over, and college life awaits now.

Arrghhhh , am seriously drugged out from my flu pills. Gotta sleep. See ya.

WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. LISTEN TO WESTLIFE. THEY CHEER YOU RIGHT UP. FOR ME, AT LEAST. (:

I hate the fact that what i really need now are encouragements and I am not getting any. And "Nobody's putting any pressure on you, just do it" doesn't count as an encouragement dammit!
Damn you. I hate how my posts have been turning out so negative lately. :(

just a smile and the rain is gone,
can hardly believe it , yeah
There's an angel standing next to me
reaching for my heart

just a smile and theres no way back
can hardly believe it yeah
but there's an angel calling me
reaching for my heart

i know i'll be okay now
this time it's real

I'm such a whiny bitch. I just can't get over how much I didn't deserve this shit. I'm sorry, but I'm just so shit-assed traumatised. It's not even like I didn't work hard for it, then at least, I know I have greater potential. Right now I feel like my best is a fricking C6. I can't even face my friends without thinking I'm stupid, without wondering if they think I'm stupid. Maybe I would've done better entering some neighbourhood school. I wonder why part of me still won't let myself give up. Maybe because I promised Hoting I wouldn't. She's been comforting me alot, Beverly, Devi and her. I love you guys alot. Anyway, fuck this. I really sound like an emo pathetic whiny bitch.

We're both looking for something
that we've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you,
holding my breath,
For once in my life,
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
letting you inside.

I'm feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time
Well maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love can feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
I'm feeling rightwhere I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love can feel for the first time
Like being in love she said for the first time
Like being in love can feel for the first time

I'm just about to die! Xanga isn't working, the damn @#$%$# thing, or maybe it's just my $%@^ computer. It probably is my @$%$3 computer, come to think of it. Anyway, the weather's completely hot as hell, even though it just rained. You have no idea how much I crave ice cream right now.

I hate this hot as hell weather, it's driving me completely stark raving mad. If only I had a swimming pool..

Okay. I am dedicating this post to Devi. Hahaha.

Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
THE BEE IS SCARING THE HELL OUTTA ME!
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
I OPENED THE WINDOW FOR IT BUT IT DOESNT WANNA FLY OUT!
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
smack it
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
ahahahahaha
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
smackdown
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
what if it doesnt die!
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
it had probably be furious and try to sting me
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
oh yes.
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
it will.
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
hahhhah
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
so smack it doubly hard.
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
ahahhahahahahaha
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
THANKS DUDE!
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
FOR BEING SO LOVELY!
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
HAHAHA
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
CONTINUOUS SMACKS
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
AHAHAHAHA
& she said yeah yeah yeah, ooh oh says:
THAT SHOULD WORK
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
it is hiding again!
Bienvenidas esto es mi sueno No Ordinary Girl says:
WHATS ITS DAMN PROBLEM MAN!

I think, its "damn problem" is you, Devi.

I changed the layout.

Just being bored.

Because it doesn't matter anyway.

I missed my posts.

I realised I wrote something three years ago that was terribly mean. It was completely awful and childish, I showed it to Dave and she started laughing.

I am completely inefficient and unproductive. :(

just came back from compass, fixed my specs, bought sweets, ate ice cream. i'm leaving for hk tomorrow(: will be back on 22nd dec. so see you guys then! [: love you all.

hey kiddoes gotta tell you something funny. really really really really funny. i just flipped through this book where i write all my complaints and stuff and there was this entry on the first day of the school where i called jacq a freako. HAHAHAHHAHAHA now isnt that the funniest thing you ever heard. hahahaha. yeah well we were passing around this name list or something and i passed it back to raina and jacq and then they start laughing like retards so i kinda thought they were laughing at my name, thats why i called her a freako. turns out she was laughing at ...someone else's name though. tsk jacq tsk, that isnt very nice. actually yeah whatever as long as it isnt my name. hahahhaa.

okay. got off at 1 from cip though we were supposed to end at 4 but kat and i were so efficient you see. so efficient dude the supervisor asked us to go home(: kat's so full of bull, she thought the woman was pregnant when she's just plain chubby. omg man haha.
yepp came home and watched a walk to remember hohoho the thing i remember the most from the movie is shane west's deep gravelly masculine-ly voice and his intense green-eyed gaze okay kidding. how saddd it made me cry but it didnt show mandy moore die though. :(
after that watched busted music vids on youtube. okay i confess i didnt boycott it at all. ahhaha, whatever. busted has really cute and wacky vids and they're really horny. they have good songs though and sorry ann i like them more than mcfly. [: anyway yeah busted's over now.
i'm into switchfoot's only hope now(: someone once told me switchfoot rocked and im only starting to check out their songs their lyrics are really deep i guess and it suits me cus I'M DEEP. YEAAAAH DUDES.

When I was a young boy,
My Father took me into the city,
To see a marching band.
He said "Son when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned."
He said "will you defeat them, your demons and all the non-believers, the plans they have made."
"Because one day I leave you, A phantom to lead you in the summer, To join the black parade."

i looove emo songs so sue me. [[[[[[:
and i got scammed today it was really weird. so i arrived like really early at amk and had to wait for kat, who chose to arrive late today of all days. haha. so yeah and then i saw kat so i walked to her and this fat cow of a woman comes and asks me for 2 bucks and im like what for and she says she wants to buy lunch. so GUESS WHAT I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I GAVE THE 2 BUCKS TO HER. she just took the money and kinda walked off? i cannot absolutely believe that i've just got scammed despite hearing all these scamming stories, i should've known better. but its okay, kat got scammed on friday too (: HAHA. by a man who's like the woman's son i bet. amk is this home for scammers i swear i'm never going there again after im done with my cip. yeah okay. dont call me stupid. thats what i called kat on friday too and today it happened to meee:(

so today's cip was kinda okay, but tiring. just moving xray files here and there, slotting in patients files, whatever they call archiving. really isnt as easy as it seems, whoever knew files could be so heavy. hahaha and we managed to insult like everyone we've met. so after our lunch we entered the offfice and the secretary woman wasnt at her seat so i was like maybe she went for lunch hour again ahhaa and kat went yeah eat eat eat eat nonstop hahaha OMG and then turns out she was doing archiving too. omg man.

uhhhuh. I remembered, happy birthday anson [[[: grow up, dude haha mmkay kidding.

goodness i'm damn fricking bored. talking to charlene online is kinda like talking to yourself. idiot. haha.

anyway rightttt today's ann's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN. (: went for her birthday thing at east coast park, only jacq and i went :( and ann's church friends. stayed for bout an hour? ahaha. reached home at about 6. the bus rides took about like 2 hours in total it was so lonnngg and we have to walk damn long too but its not supposed to take so bloody long its the damn bus which went around the whole stupid town. yepp and then i realised those stupid library books were due today so i went compass when i came home and i had to walk cus i was so broke my ezlink card had no money and i've got no money to top up either :( actually i wouldnt have given a damn about fines except that i used sinyee's bro's card. hahaha. so yepp. i'm bored. youtube sucks. i wish it had some feedback thingy so i can report how much it sucks. oh yeah i just watched confessions of a teenage drama queen i think its quite sucky. like seriously dude. like all the characters sucked, esp lindsay lohan's. i hate her but i think her acting's quite good.

jeeeeeeeeeez i'm shit-ass bored im going to die soon. help.
:(

NO i am very pissed and sad now :( i finally got around to watching laguna beach on youtube yesterday and i only watched 2 episodes, and today all the episodes were removed due to some stupid fricking copyright infringement and so i am very very very pissed and sad now what am i supposed to do for the rest of my miserable days? :(((((( stupid stupid youtube i will never visit it again. i think everybody should boycott it and not visit it then maybe the boss will come to his senses and put up all those vids again. hahahah.

anyway today did cip with kat, went amk hospital and did archiving so sad we didnt get to do any of the doctor business. its sad CIP can't get money. why is everything so sadddd. :( and then after that ate at pizza hut with sinyee and devi oh my bloody gods SO FULL. :(
anyway. sinyee is really gay. we were jogging past this old lady carrying a baby in her arms and then she suddenly waved at him so i turned to her and was like what the bloody hell. hahaha. she just made me swear in front of the stupid baby :( anyway i managed to jog 1.6k without stopping, shut up all you athletes. its very good for someone like me. as in brainsmart and not sportsmart. haahhaa. all you athletes are just sportsmart but theres nothing in your brains hahahah okay kidding. :D
yay okay tomorrow is ann's birthday, happy birthday in 3 hours 52 mins 31 secs. i am very very bored thanks to stupid youtube. metube. ourtube. hahaa. okay. goodbye